Joy comes from our Rock and Salvation

Kenny walking with Isaac back in '94

The TN dress alike was a coincidence

Sarah was thrilled with kittens at our friend's Donna's house

I was marveling on Mother's Day when I asked myself the question, "What do I want to do today?" when the truth hit me that besides wanting to spend time with my mom, I just wanted to enjoy what the kids and Kenny enjoy. Yes, of course, every mom needs time out with friends or alone time soaking in a bubble bath and thankfully I have those moments but I read this little saying in a book given to us from our Phoenix parents that quotes fathers. It says:

-"We find a delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart to big for the body"- Ralph Waldo Emerson. -

-And yes, sometimes children are not happy (or do they seem beautiful when they misbehave) but there is no one else I would rather be with. Once,about 11 years ago, we were taking a walk on the 47 acre farm we were living on and our first born son Isaac (who passed away 10 1/2 years ago) was holding both his mom and dad's hands and he let out a big happy sigh and said "Yep, all the family". I never forgot that expression because I knew what he was feeling. When Kenny, the kids, and I are all together it is wonderful but it's not "all the family" anymore without him.There is a lost sense of satisfaction. What I know now so deeply is that as much as I want to revel in this love of my family I can't put my hope in anything but God's love alone. It is forever unchanging and always there. He alone is our rock. I'm so glad for all his gifts but I have to remember "He gives and He takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."-book of Job

-Anyway, I plan to reserve a little place on this blog for a memorial to Isaac. I am looking forward to sharing his life and the story of healing with those who never knew him. The great thing is they will know him someday since we are all family in Christ.

Update-

- Today Kenny and Joshua took Paul to Knoxville for a weekend baseball tournament. I was unsure of how to spend the day when my great neighbor and friend invited me and the other children to go along with them to the lake up the mountain for the evening. On the way, we stopped at a Mennonite farmer's market and we found the place to purchase all of the little farm animals we want for Lily which hopefully we will be ready for by next month. It would really be good for her right now since she is struggling a little more with her mind being clear.

- At the lake everyone had a really great time. Sarah didn't even mind sandy bananas and pineapple. Julie (my neighbor) has two children close to John and Sarah's age. John sees Elijah, his soccer buddy, almost every day yet they still play extremely well. They have built a house bordering the front of our property. This family is actually cousins of my sister's family (who live through the woods behind us) so my kids have cousins and extended cousins that are more like brothers and sisters.

-The rest of the weekend we plan on staying close to home. Kenny is occassionally spontaneous so we shall see. I am learning to be much more easy going these days. Six kids have a way of bringing that about.