September 27...12 years ago

Isaac was often called "little Kenny" by family. Here they are together on Monte the old 27 year old horse.

Isaac and Hope sharing a rare Coke at a special get together.

Isaac finds Hope a hat. In so many of our pictures he is wearing a bright blue one that was his favorite

It's sad but worth mentioning that Isaac died on his cousin Hope's birthday. They were only 3 months apart and great friends. Lisa mentioned how amazing it is that every year on the anniversary of his death we think of Hope by celebrating her life. Her name "Hope" was no coincidence.

Isaac, age 3 in front of the horse farm we lived on during the last 2 years of his life

October of 93. Isaac was 16 months and Josh was just 6 weeks old

As most of you know, our oldest son passed away at the age of four in a car accident as we traveled from Springfield, Mo.( our home then) to Tennessee for a visit. I wanted to share a very precious time of our lives by posting a few pictures and comments. Isaac had something that our other children have never seemed to portray at the age of three and four. He had a very tender heart toward spiritual matters that comforts us to this day. Making up his own songs in the back seat with the words..."You are an awesome God. Mercy and Truth come out of you" at three years old shocked us when we had never sang such a song to him before. He was also beautiful.. wouldn't you agree? After his death, we had a true experience with the awesome grace of God and really felt as if we were carried through those first few months as the well known poem "footprints" states. There are times now I will wonder...How do we function and live normally when such a hole remains in our hearts? It's because our heavenly Father helps us as we believe the truth He says!! Yet it still hurts and we miss him so much. Eternal life....now that is a wonderful thought. Looking forward to seeing all of creation set free!!

This year we will be on a weekend getaway celebrating Hope's birthday but keeping a candle lit for our sweet, smiley, Isaac. (I don't remember having a picture of him where he is not smiling)

Life for Now

Finished.... much better

In trouble for making another mess

Can you see the "stinker"' in his smirk

John twirling Sarah in a dance to Joshua's morning guitar playing

John climbing the wall at the YMCA

Lily did great until she needed to get down. I tried to help her but only found myself landed on.

Last Friday night Lisa, her girls, me, and my girls took the evening to go visit Priscilla who went away to college this fall. We had such a nice time in the city. I really enjoyed noticing the new architectural developments going on around me and appreciating the old buildings also. Downtown Chattanooga is really marvelous. The pedestrian bridge is lit up at night and is full of families and even an occasional musician here and there with their cases open for cash donations. The park near the bridge has the most perfect fescue that calls to your bare feet. People are playing Frisbee and football while others let their little ones run around in the fountains. Pris had to work on a drawing assignment for a bit but she was able to have coffee at the little shop in the historic district. We sure miss her and Candace both. On the way home we all sang together. Lily gets more from times like that than I’m sure we can imagine. Sisters and nieces can make very dear friends.
Kenny was also able to take me on a date Saturday. Golfing, dinner, and then a little drive. It was very refreshing. Kenny is trying to teach me how to golf. It is extremely difficult to hit that tiny ball with a little club head straight and far and controlled. I don’t know how much time I will be willing to give toward seemingly a difficult sport but for now it’s once a week. At first I had the attitude that it was a meaningless waste of time but I feel I was too presumptuous in judging. The fresh air does wonders and the beauty of all that green is good for the eyes. We come home in a much better mental state to deal with stress and the hard work it takes to keep things running smoothly. We are spending time with family(sometimes friends) and able to communicate much more with each other than we would sitting in front of the electronic devices that so tempt our time.

The weather is turning cooler, especially in the mornings so I took the lunch outside today. John carried the blanket and straightened it out very nicely and then ran off to find the “secret” patch of wild muscadines ( a fruit resembling a large grape). The boys got up early to get their schoolwork done so they could go golfing with Grandpa today so I just had the four younger ones. I think I am concluding that John’s age is one of my favorite stages and I want to soak up this time of reading out loud together even though he still prefers to be engaged in some competitive activity. When he heard we would be racing for candy at the YMCA PE classes you should have seen his raised eyebrows and wiggly body as the teacher explained. Sarah wants me to consider her doing school when she is at the table writing or sitting with a book somewhere. “Look Mom, I do school” I think she has a wonderful mind already. As we were picnicking on the edge of the field overlooking the view she said the grasses were dancing ( and they really were nodding and swaying) which was followed by telling me to “look at all the mountains, over there and over there and over there” as she pointed in three different directions. Next, she brought me acorns and asked me how many. She imitated the calls of the crows and hawks that flew overhead and on the way home picked the wild flowers she saw. Full of wonder and the love of life is Sarah. Joseph is changing from mama’s boy already. When Kenny comes in the door and sits down Joseph will mosey on over and proceed to head bang him or punch him to start a little wrestling match. It seems he thinks it’s funny to get hurt a little because he always goes back for more. He also likes to bring Kenny books and show him all the animals he knows.
The truth is I want to spend more time ministering to others but not at the cost of leaving my kids to movies, video games, boredom, or others knowing them more than I do. Right now it seems like God has me in a place of pressing in to walking in the truths I do know with the ones closest to me. That always seems to be the most difficult, does it not? I truly want opportunities of reaching out to others as a family. He has definitely brought those about in his timing. It’s not about earning approval. It’s about living a purposeful, meaningful, obedient life that I have to trust the Lord for. I just try to jump ahead instead of patiently waiting for God. So many times he reminds me…… Hello. You have a daughter that needs more of you desperately!!! Quit looking out there when I have already given you those to minister to! Your Husband, kids, parents, siblings and friends! Be a light! There I go again …Preaching to myself.

Two Teenagers Already!

A new "white cabinet" look

13 candles

Paul puts on the necklace he made her

Lily doing what she loves most.

Lily gets to work the controls

Her breakfast plate smiley face

John and Sarah helped pick and arrange her flowers

The "I wan Apple" kid

The "men " of the family carrying the picnic supplies

A view of the Tennessee valley

It's been incredible to watch the kids grow. Joshua seems like another adult walking around the house. At 15 he can just about run things. We enjoy all the summer birthdays- eating meals together with family and throwing in a kick ball game now and then. We started celebrating Lily's day a little early by taking her to Boomsday, a huge fireworks show in Knoxville. It really is something to see so this year we had others join us and they were not disappointed. This event draws about 325,000 people, but we found a great church parking lot that has ,what we heard , the best and closest view. We have also enjoyed taking a day to visit the nearby mountains for a picnic and dip in what we think is the most beautiful lake we have ever seen. We started school and WOW!!! it is going to be a busy year. We have nature study class at the park on one afternoon with a half dozen families and Physical Education at the YMCA on another afternoon.One night a week we play frisbee and tennis. We are trying to get Lily involved with music and horses as well. Paul is playing in a golf league once a week and enjoying the competition. Joshua is working several afternoons after he puts in a heavy school day including Biology with the labs, Geometry, Format Writing, Spanish 1, and the other basics. The other kids have a full day also and I can't help but read aloud to them when it comes to history (this is generally because we read a lot of historical fiction) I am reading the Little House series to John and Lily not to mention their history and science readings . Lily seems to be able to get a lot of what I am saying and John is begging for more. The kid's attitudes make things easier but I still feel totally overwhelmed some days. You see, I do have this one busy little man who likes to get away with a lot when mom is busy. I try to let go and enjoy this time and overlook the messes. I just had to take a picture of the apple mess. He found an overlooked bag of apples on the table after we arrived home from the grocery store and decided it would be fun to take a bite out of EVERY ONE and spit the pieces out everywhere. He just looked at me upon discovery and said, "I wan apple" I am sure things have been worse since I have been occupied in between subjects, nap times and late at night sanding, priming, and painting our kitchen cabinets but it has been worth it. The kitchen, being my main dwelling place, needed to be a brighter more cheerful place.

Today, Lily's birthday (which is the day before one of her grandma's birthdays. Happy Birthday Grandma!) was really a precious day. I decided to take Kenny's advice and have more relaxed fun with the kids so therefore we just did whatever Lily wanted. We have a special breakfast tradition with flowers and candles followed by a few presents. Then we painted together around the table, played a video game, watched Prince of Egypt twice, made bead necklaces, made cakes, and then she couldn't stand it any longer. She had to get back to her computer art. She truly is a junkie. In the evening, we had friends and family over for the cake of her choice. She did something so wonderful today that I wish I could add to the blog. As we were drawing and painting we had some music on that she just couldn't sit still for so she jumped up and gave me the best dance show I had ever seen from her. I will try to put it on here soon. Lily has had zero seizures since we went up on her topomax which has been about a month now.

So what can I say. Sure life gets hectic. We get stressed and rude to each other at times. I even have days where I cry from not feeling adequate enough. But I try to remember the truth. I try to remember gratefulness is the way out. GOD'S LOVE IS HERE! So what more can I need.

July and August Update

The problem with not blogging for a few months is the time it takes to choose what to update all of our friends and family about. I am thankful for the good memories that we have stored up of this summer. Things are really going very well. I will try to comment about a random picture here and there. I hope it doesn't seem too incomplete.

Have to show this green that used to be brown and rocky........
Thanks to mom and Bernie's hard work while we were in Mo. we now have a back lawn.


His addiction is still strong but it's cute

John's birthday was the 24th of July, just two days after Paul's. He was excited about the sling shot and four square ball he was able to buy with the Grandparent's funds. Thanks long distance grandparents!! I don't have any good pictures of Paul's B-day but we had a great day at Dollywood together. Lisa and I took the four older boys for their birthdays. I rode the roller coasters with them almost a dozen times.

Lily dressed up for a friend's fairy tale birthday party. She loved it.

And little humpty dumpty sat on his wall.....he didn't like his outfit as much as Lily and Sarah liked theirs.